"Where is the boy?", one may ask since I was so confident of the prophecies I had received. Well, this is why I am here on this blog today - to journal my initial struggle and confusion due to this divide between reality and prophecy.
Even after three times being told by my Gynae that I will be having a girl, I was still hoping the next ultrasound would show something different. Not because I wanted to have a son but because I wanted the assurance that ALL my children are in my future.
So, if the prophecies are indeed accurate, what happens to one of my girls?
I sought out Jenn to speak to the Lord and each time she saw Abby and a boy. She could not see anyone else.
Okay, it is about here that I should pause and make mention that whatever I have done up to that point was wrong:
1) I sought after fortune telling more than anything else.
2) There was no active participation in my part to communicate with Go. I merely thrusted this responsibility to Jenn.
3) I went around person to person looking for an alternative interpretation (that would be acceptable to me) of the prophecies
Kathy pointed out something I knew deep down inside but wouldn't openly acknowledge - I didn't dare to approach God about this fear of mine. I didn't dare to bring it to God for fear that he would tell me my fears would come to pass.
To be continued...
