My #2 (Part 1)

I am now almost 24 weeks pregnant with baby #2 and she's daughter #2 for me. She is growing extremely well (Dr Chan did not say more than a one liner about my 3kg increase in weight, phew!) and is happily stretching and kicking within me vigorously. I'm slowly falling deeper in love with her. 

"Where is the boy?", one may ask since I was so confident of the prophecies I had received. Well, this is why I am here on this blog today - to journal my initial struggle and confusion due to this divide between reality and prophecy. 

Even after three times being told by my Gynae that I will be having a girl, I was still hoping the next ultrasound would show something different. Not because I wanted to have a son but because I wanted the assurance that ALL my children are in my future. 

So, if the prophecies are indeed accurate, what happens to one of my girls? 

I sought out Jenn to speak to the Lord and each time she saw Abby and a boy. She could not see anyone else. 

Okay, it is about here that I should pause and make mention that whatever I have done up to that point was wrong:

1) I sought after fortune telling more than anything else.

2) There was no active participation in my part to communicate with Go. I merely thrusted this responsibility to Jenn.

3) I went around person to person looking for an alternative interpretation (that would be acceptable to me) of the prophecies

Kathy pointed out something I knew deep down inside but wouldn't openly acknowledge - I didn't dare to approach God about this fear of mine. I didn't dare to bring it to God for fear that he would tell me my fears would come to pass. 

To be continued...