Dreams about KYY and Zac During CNY Week

Jotting down two dreams I had during my CNY break (14-24 Feb 2015):

Dream 1:

Zachary Adrian running over a green plain and the earth opened up to swallow him whole three times. Each time I see him running without a care about the dangers around him. There was a short instance I saw him holding on to a small figurine, perhaps the source of these threats. 

I conveyed this to Adrian and he shared that Stella also had a similar dream where Zac was running with no showing of any specific emotion. As he ran pass a church, it collapsed and buried him, leaving only an outstretched hand from the rubbles. Stella who was behind him, survived the catastrophe. 

Dream 2:

I don't quite remember the details but I know it is about Yin Yee and suicide. 

My Second Promise

Having Abby has changed my life - I no longer get 10 hour sleeps and definitely no sleep ins. Naps are a luxury and date nights are a rarity. Meals are usually hurried and gone are the days meeting up with friends and what more holidays! 

But I would not change a thing. 

Abby is the joy and pride of my life. She tires me out but boy, does she make my life so much fuller! 

Sometimes I wonder whether I can love someone else as much as I love her and God stops me midway. Love doesn't have to be shared. You can love another person wholeheartedly as well. 

I believe and hold on firmly to the prophecies by Mary Chu and Jenn that my family will comprise of two children. And this prophecy will only be fulfilled with the arrival of a baby boy. Yup, it will be a boy next! 

Mark and I have been trying since June last year but no success yet. To be honest, I have uttered a few inner vows - that I am not ready for and I may not need a second child. Victoria, through God's revelation, called me out on this in December. I have of course proceeded to  ask God for forgiveness and repented. And God has graciously reminded me of His promise through a dream received before CNY. In the dream, I was pregnant and the baby within me was actively stretching. I even saw my hand holding his hand somehow. 

To be honest, there is still some trepidation over having to repeat the sleepless nights in the early months of motherhood and even the 100% of self-immersion into the development of the baby thereafter, I will have to put my trust that God's timing will be perfect and that He will enable me to become the best mother I can be to my second baby. 

My Big Little Girl

My daughter turned 16 months last week and is getting ready to attend playgroup in two months. Visiting various playschools last Tues has made me too acutely aware that she is growing up. 

Her dad, grandmother and myself have been the centre of her world so far but in a few months' time it would be opened up to... well, the world... 

I have been plagued with a whirlwind of emotions. For one, I am so irrationally fearful that the world would dilute her love for me. Secondly, never being popular in school, I worry that she may have to go through the same lonely path as I did. But at the same time, I am excited for her to start making her mark in this world.

I can only pray that God will bless her with abundant favour, that she will be secure in His and our love and that her spirit will never be dampened by people. 

This big little girl will always be my baby...